a freckled Rachel

Yesterday, we celebrated our 2 year wedding anniversary. The day before, on her 12 year wedding anniversary, a friend learned her husband is dying from cancer. As I mourn and pray for this friend, I also pause to reflect.

We’re taught to treasure the moments in life. This glib statement often seems accompanied by the idea that the moments to treasure are the happy ones, the sunshine-filled, laughing days. But are those the only beautiful moments?0814

For two years, I have lived with, fought with, loved, angered, and stood alongside a very real, very human, and very lovable man. We’ve had our wonderful moments and our awful moments. So, should I treasure only the wonderful moments? It’s a hard question. I hate it when we fight and struggle, but those fights and struggles are part and parcel of the life we’re building together. The friction, either from the storms of life or from each other, grows us and our marriage.

As I watch this friend struggle through watching her husband die, I have no glib statements. How can you treasure these moments, good or bad, knowing all the moments you dreamed of will soon end? At the same time, I’m awed by her. Through the pain and tears, she looks for God’s little miracles and counts it a blessing to hold her husband’s hand.

Maybe this seems like a gloomy anniversary post. I’m not sure. But I’m reminded that every kiss could be our last, every fight could be the final one, and all our humans plans could come crumbling down at the feet of a good, sovereign God. I’m reminded to thank God for the time, good and seemingly bad, that I’ve had with my husband and for the time we have left, whether it’s a lifetime or another minute.

I’m thankful I get to fight with and for this man. Every breath we share is from God, and I thank Him for every breath He gives.

I’m thankful, too, for my friend who right now models true for-better-or-for-worse-love. God doesn’t tell us never to sorrow; He just reminds us that we sorrow with hope. Thank you, friend, for your transparent example of sorrow and hope.

Rachel Kaye Estelle

6 Comments

  1. Reply

    Of Love and Loss | jessicaesther

    January 30, 2014

    […] the end of his battle with cancer, leaving behind a young wife and 5 children. My sister wrote a beautiful post two days after they learned he was dying, a poignant reminder to treasure all of the […]

  2. Reply

    Of Love and Loss | jessicaesther

    January 30, 2014

    […] the end of his battle with cancer, leaving behind a young wife and 5 children. My sister wrote a beautiful post two days after they learned he was dying, a poignant reminder to treasure all of the […]

  3. Reply

    Rachel Kaye

    January 30, 2014

    Thank you for your thoughts and your anniversary wishes! It's bittersweet to watch someone go home so young. In the sorrow, it's hard to see God's hand. I'm so thankful that God gives us the strength to hope against hope.

  4. Reply

    Rachel Kaye

    January 30, 2014

    Thank you for your thoughts and your anniversary wishes! It's bittersweet to watch someone go home so young. In the sorrow, it's hard to see God's hand. I'm so thankful that God gives us the strength to hope against hope.

  5. Reply

    Kari Ann

    January 30, 2014

    So true what you say about God not asking us to never sorrow but only to sorrow with hope…beautiful. And happy anniversary :]

  6. Reply

    Kari Ann

    January 30, 2014

    So true what you say about God not asking us to never sorrow but only to sorrow with hope…beautiful. And happy anniversary :]

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